This coming August 2017 I will be celebrating my 23 years of Friendship and 20 years of Marriage to my partner in crime. I can’t believe it has been 20 years already since we said I do. It’s scary to think that I have spent more time with this wonderful man than I’ve spent alive on this earth WOW! I can’t even begin to imagine how we managed to have raised four wonderful and beautiful children and come this far.
For sure at the begin of our marriage journey we had some bumps along the road we needed to iron out, most of which was learning to understand our differences and what we brought to the table as individuals and how we could maximise our joint matrimony.
Marriage in some ways is like a business transaction, well it has felt like that for me at certain points along my journey of marriage. I know some might want to disagree with me on that, but it got me thinking, What were the things that made us come so far along the road and to this point happily.
Compatibility Is The Key
Compatibility is important in any successful relationship. This is not to say that you and your partner have to like all the same things and be exactly alike. It is not a matter of having someone that is like a mirror image of yourself to share your time with. In fact, if this were true, there would be issues from the start and the relationship would be doomed to failure.
You want to find a person that enjoys some of the same activities that you do. If you both like completely different things, there is nothing for you to share when you spend time together. It makes the time strained for one person or the other. It also creates uneasiness and can create unhappiness in the end. This will result in the end of your relationship. It is perfectly acceptable to like different things and have a successful relationship. However, you cannot be completely opposite. There has to be some common ground so that you have things to do during your time together.
I’m the crazy one out of the both of us. I’m more than willing to try bungee jumping or jumping out of a plane, which I may add I’ve asked for us to do on many occasions as we live not far from a flying school. You can imagine my husband face every time I suggest we should jump out of a plane for his next birthday day out.
You will want a person that shares some characteristics with you. Of course you want them to have their own personality and be their own person. The differences are important for success. You will get bored if you are both too much alike. You will also have conflict between yourselves when you get comfortable with each other. There is nothing to add to the relationship. You both exist as one. You have to have some difference to discuss and add a little spice to your lives.
It is also important that you both have similar ideals relating to life and events in it. If you are religious, you would want to be with someone that shares similar religious values. If you have a desire to have a family, then you would want to be with a partner that also has a desire for family. In regards to life ideals, this is where compatibility is a must. There is nothing like finding a person and falling in love with them. You feel that you are destined to be together. Then, you decide to move your relationship forward.
You have your idea of how things are going to be. Your partner all of a sudden crushes your hopes and dreams. They tell you that they do not want children or that they are not interested in the same things that you are. This will bring about a quick end to the relationship and can leave you both devastated. You could also have feelings of resentment or betrayal toward the other person. It becomes a bad situation for everyone involved.
The best thing that you can do when dating is to find someone that is compatible with you in some way at least 75% of the time. Talk to them about what you like. If there is something that you are completely against, make sure that they know that from the beginning. Tell them what you are looking for and what your ideal match would be like. Talk about characteristics and personality traits. All of these things are important and can help you have a successful relationship.
Paying More Attention to Your Woman or Man
Communication is such an important factor in all relationships, business and personal alike, that it should come as no surprise that we need to discuss it here as well. What is communication, after all? It is the two-way interaction that occurs, both verbally and non-verbally. What is said with actions is as important, if not more so, than what is said with words. But here we’re going to focus our attention on the importance of verbal communication and what it will mean for your relationship. Keep in mind that when I talk about how things affect your relationship, I’m mainly concerned with your success in the realm in your close relationships.
Communication with words is something we all do on a daily basis. But, just like when you’re asked to give an impromptu speech, being asked to communicate in a particular situation just makes many of you cringe, lock up, and find yourself at a loss for words. Why? Mainly because when you have to think about what to say, you suddenly become concerned about what you’re saying. But if you just let it happen without any expectations, somehow everything works out a whole lot better.
That being said, think of your past relationships and where communication failed you. Was it something you said in a particular conversation that you came to regret later? Or was it something she said that you either treated as unimportant or simply didn’t hear at all? Or could it have been a time when you should have said something to her, but didn’t, and the results were equally regrettable? Surely all of these have happened to nearly everyone at one time or another. The trick is to not let these past failures define how you communicate now and in the future of your current relationship.
Talking is something we all think about when we hear the word ‘communication’. But, unfortunately, that first thought is the wrong one if you’re looking for a good relationship with potential for romance. Talking will get you nowhere, and worse, it may cause things to fall backward or even to fall apart. When you talk, you’re expecting someone else to listen.
But what about the listener? When does she get the chance to be heard? That’s why it’s so much better to change your view from one of simply talking, to one where you see communication as the carrying on of a conversation.
The Importance of Keeping the Romance Alive in Your Relationship
Are you married or do you currently live with you partner? For many couples, marriage or cohabitation, often spells trouble for many relationships. While there are a number of different reasons for the cause of this common issue, it is often attributed to a lack of romance. To help you keep your relationship with your live-in partner or your husband going strong, it is important to keep the romance in your relationship alive.
As nice as it is to hear that you should keep the romance alive in your relationship, you may be wondering exactly how you should go about doing so. When creating romance in your relationship, it is important to know that not all couples are the same. For that reason, you may want to keep your partner’s wants, needs, or interests in mind. This is another key to having a happy and healthy relationship, compromise.
One of the best ways we have found that has helped us to keep our romance alive in our relationship is actually quite a simple concept. That concept is affection. Unfortunately, many couples get into a groove where they just become comfortable with their daily life. This often leads many couples not to hold hands anymore, kiss, or even talk about their day. As much as possible, try to express your love to your spouse, both in action and in words and appreciation for one another. Yes I know it might have to take practise for some of you, but that is how great habits are built in life.
It is also important to sometime have a change of scenery and get out of your house more. As with showing affection, many couples, after a period of time, stop going out on dates. Whenever you have a free evening, you may want to consider going on a date. Incorporating this into our relationship we found has made us more younger and active in life. What is nice about dates is that just about any activity can be considered a date. For instance, you can go out to dinner, see a movie, or go have a few drinks at a local bar. All of these activities can be viewed as a date. It doesn’t have to be expensive all the time. Social interaction, both with each other and with other couples, is important to the health of a relationship. For that reason, you and your partner should get out and socialise when possible if not make time for it.
As previously stated, a relationship is all about compromise. Compromise is also a way to keep the romance alive in your relationship. As compatible as you and you partner or spouse may be, you may still have a few differences. Often times, these differences show on date nights. When it comes to going on a date or just doing a simple activity with your partner, it is advised that you comprise as often as possible. This may include having alternate date nights. For instance, if your husband wanted to attend a sporting game, you can agree to do so, as long as he agrees to go the movies with you next time.
There are a number of different ways that you can go about keeping the romance alive in your relationship and building a lasting and long one. As difficult as relationships, love and romance may seem, it is important that you put forth the extra effort. Not feeling enough support is an issue that the two of you can resolve.
I’m so thankful that have come this far and I know I’ve still got a lot to learn, and I love it that way, that we have not arrived yet, so it give us plenty of time to spend quality time still discovering more about each other.