First Decide where you are going, then decide who’s going with you. Sam Keen (Fire in the Belly; On Being a Man)

First Decide where you are going, then decide who’s going with you.
Sam Keen (Fire in the Belly; On Being a Man)



It’s been said; ‘it’s not about where you’re from but it’s about where you’re going’.
In interpersonal interactions in our ‘modern’ society we’ve grown accustomed to asking after an individual’s origins, town city, and schooling etcetera in order to deduce an understanding of a person. And while a certain amount of value can be placed upon this information and it’ll provide us with a level of understanding as to where a person is coming from and the tenants of their previous experience and its impact in shaping them, if the past alone is the measure of the man, we’ll discover a problem if we wish to make acquaintances of those who have a future.

Many individuals on their life’s journey are stuck, – are out of gas, – have no vision or dream, – are lazy, – couldn’t care less and are indifferent, or have never; despite a cursory glance at their history which might at first appear to the contrary, but which upon closer inspection reveals – no apparent exposure to any impactful material, nothing that has awakened within them any sense of the possible, any understanding of the gift and privilege of their existence. And that presents a problem because if you’re trying to get some place and you acquaint yourself with folks either going nowhere or going somewhere completely different to you, their acquaintance has the potential if you’re not careful to derail you or at the very least to impede your progress along the journey called your life.

Good question; where are you going and who’s going with you? Always in that order, don’t do it the other way round otherwise you’ll end up at the behest of someone else’s dream or you’ll end up being a vampire exploiting the precious resources of another simply for your own selfish ends without any clear ability to get alongside another individual and be of assistance in the fulfilment of their unique purpose. Our immaturity in this regard is always prohibitive in even some of our most precious relationships, particularly when as parents, or spouses etcetera we seek to impose our will and agendas unto the lives of our children or significant others.

Prerequisite to the ability to genuinely accept and love others is the ability to accept and love ourselves. Self-love and acceptance is thwarted if we embrace a notion for whichever reason that we are in some way or another unworthy or unacceptable. This is very important from a business perspective. If we desire to operate in anyway as entrepreneurs and create and champion brands we need as in the words of Simon Sinek to ‘Start With Why’ and to be authentic to our ‘why’ and to convey a consistent message that reflects our unique selves and what we stand for. Essentially you are a brand and this concept invites you to invest in yourself and to develop yourself into the best version of yourself in order to personally capitalise on the potential of your unique personality as you bring to table what you alone can bring, in the way that only you can bring it.

So when faced with the question of where you’re going and who’s going with you the essential answer lies in the extent to which you have mined your unique purpose, and are being authentic to your reason for being on the planet. Only then are you able to enable others to be true to themselves without competition or comparison, because everyone’s authentic contribution is valid and cannot but add to our collective consciousness.

Consider this when employing staff, when looking for a prospective business partner, or just in your daily networking and interacting. Don’t judge to quickly and be cautious to be impressed with an extensive resume. Ascertain more importantly the ingredients of a person’s vision and the amount of belief and energy they are willing to put behind the fulfilment and acquisition of their desired goals. Some people’s history is all they’ll ever have.


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Rachael Aprill Phillips CEO and Founder of Rachael Academymy online magazine Begin Startup with all my latest business and lifestyle news and musings and Rachaelaphillips.

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