“Well, often when running after two rabbits we’ll end up loosing both of them”.
A quote I came across some time ago, but no, this saying is not always true and it does not apply here within the topic of your career. Usually people find it confusing when they realise that in order to have a family they have to give up their career, dreams, or in some cases even their jobs. When really it’s all about priorities and self control. If ever you’ve ever been confronted with this problem, or you’re facing this problem right now and there’s no other advice that works, try following the steps I created below when I found myself asking this very question and maybe it will help you find the answers you’re looking for and need.
1. Decide if you are ready to have a family.
This is very important. You must take in consideration all aspects of what family life means: children, spending time together, support. If you don’t feel ready and still take this step, your family will end up neglected for sure and you shouldn’t try to follow the next steps unless you are sure you are ready and have taken some time to think it through.
2. Assuming you have a job, make a work plan and try to share work problems at home.
You might find it unbelievable, but your family can help with your work. They love you and even though they are not specialists in your work area, they will do their best to give the best possible advice. I’ve found this to work well with my family. For example if am working on a clients website, or content. I will ask the family for their opinion and what they think of my progress on the project so far. This helps everyone to feel part of your life with our feel left out.
3. To have a career you have to work harder. Try getting some work home.
When wanting that promotion, you will have lots of unplanned work to do. If you stay and finish it all at the office, your family will barely see you. Try and take home with you what can be taken and at least they will be happy knowing you are next to them, even if you are busy. Remember family is so much more important than your work. I know we must work or bills won’t be paid, but your children won’t stay children forever and it’s building memories that count.
4. Keeping a warm atmosphere at home will ease your job stress and load.
Don’t fight with your family when you come home stressed from work and also do not keep work problems secret from your family. When you get up in the morning you will be encouraged and you will feel somewhat lighter because you discussed with the family the night before about what was making you stressed from work. You will leave home contentedly, your job will be a lot easier to handle and manage for the days ahead.
5. When getting a promotion, discuss it at home.
Even if it means more work, your family will understand if they are asked first. Getting the family involved shows them that you’re thinking of them even when you’re there and you care about their own personal wants too. They don’t want to get in the way of your career and desires, they just want to see you and talk to you every day if possible. But they will let you go to work as much as you need and where you need to if you discuss with them your career as you grow within.
I hope the tips I’ve shared here has helped you to look a little different into how you chose to showup at home and how you chose to showup at work. Some of the steps may take some time to implement into your lifestyle, that is understandable, don’t beat yourself up. As long as you make the conscious effort to begin the changes you will be just fine.