Why Aren’t You As Happy, Successful And Fulfilled As You Should Be?

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Before we look at improving our lives and achieving that sense of accomplishment and fulfilment, it first makes sense to focus on the things we’re doing wrong. The things that we could be doing better and the things that are holding us back. Now am not here to point the finger at you heck I have a lot of my own problems, far from it.

What my true aim from my latest post is to help you define and come to the clusions to why things are not working out for you the way you wish them to.

I had to ask myself this very questions below as you’re going to have to ask yourself.

  • Why don’t you feel fulfilled?
  • Why don’t you have more time to take care of your looks or your home?
  • Why is your relationship falling apart?
  • How did you end up in a dead-end job?

Difficult questions I know but let’s take a look at a story that many of us will be familiar with: the story of the modern man.

The Plight of the Modern Man

Most of us were very happy when we were younger. We were excited to be learning and discovering so much and we were taken care of all the while by our doting parents. Every day was an adventure, everything was new and we were constantly growing and developing.

Back then, you probably had big dreams. You probably knew what you wanted to be. Whether that was an astronaut, a rock star or an actor.

Then you probably got a little more serious around high school when you would have realised that you needed to be more serious with the kind of work you did. You probably discovered a subject that you enjoyed and decided that you would pursue that into college. Hence you might have taken up maths, science or drama.

At college you met new people, discovered that the world was much larger and came away feeling on top of the world. With diploma in hand, you were ready to take on the world. Only you discovered you had no experience and as such, employers were not exactly queuing up to give you a job. Meanwhile, you needed a roof over your head and wanted to move out of your Mum and Dad’s place, so you decided to take any work you could get.

You might have a degree in science or literature, but now you’re working in an estate agent’s or a logistics company. You’re stuffing envelopes or dealing with requests and it’s not particularly fun. But hey, you’re earning money and you’re out there!

And then you meet someone who you fall in love with. You’re happy together – after all, you’re both young and attractive – so you start renting a place.

Only now you’re juggling work, a relationship and rent. That leaves less time for seeing friends and less time for staying in shape or pursuing your dreams.

And it’s a little small, isn’t it? So, you decide that you need to move into a bigger place. It’s time you got on the property ladder! And that means saving. So, you unfortunately don’t have the luxury to look for other work – you need to take the next position that’s offered in your organisation.

And that increases the stress levels. Now you’re coming home a little later and a little more stressed and you have less energy and less time to spend with your partner. But you’re both working toward the same dream, so you get married and buy a house and it all seems great.

Only now your responsibilities are much bigger. Now you’re working until 6, 7 or 8pm on a regular basis and you can’t see an easy way out. Then the boiler breaks and the fence blows down and you’re blowing more of your savings on making those repairs. There’s no way at this point that you can consider leaving your job and in the evenings, all you want to do is to crash on the couch and recover from the stressful day you just had.

Later a baby will come along and you’ll live to look after them.

These are all great things: having a partner, a baby and a home are fantastic achievements that bring contentment. But you can’t live for those things. You need to look after yourself as well and you need to chase your dreams. Otherwise, you’ll become a burned out, tired husk of a person with no ambition, no drive and no enthusiasm. That’s no kind of impression to make and especially if you start to resent your family.

  • You never travelled.
  • You never pursued your dream job.
  • You don’t go out with friends any more.
  • You’ve gained weight.
  • You look a mess.
  • Your house is untidy…

And you have no energy to do anything about it and no way of knowing how to go about it. Is it any wonder that so many people are depressed? Is it any wonder that so many marriages end in divorce?

Depressing? Sure. And especially if you can recognize some truth in it. But don’t worry, we’re going to fix you!

How would you like to Discover the power to Go For Your Dreams?

Have you held a long berried dream since you were little and you only let it out once in a while because you believe it’s to late for you? Or you don’t have the funds to get it of the ground or it’s just that,  A Dream? And you know what you feel that dreams should be left in the four corners and secret closets of our brains.

Setting Your Goals Effectively

There is a difference in setting your goals and setting them effectively. Anyone can set a goal, but doing it effectively means that it will actually get done.

There are so many things that you can do to better your life, but if you don’t know how to go about it you are stuck.

The following guidelines will help you to set effective goals and help you manage your time in an efficient manner that will cause those goals to become reality.

State Each Goal As A Positive Statement

Express your goals in a positive way. That is a key component to setting goals that you can attain.

How often have you been excited to accomplish a goal that didn’t even sound good when you brought it up? If you are not comfortable or happy with the goals that you have set, the likelihood of you succeeding is pretty low.

If you want to express your goals in a positive way, you simply have to first think of a goal that puts a smile on your face when you imagine it completed. Why would you want to set a goal that made you frown, cringe or cry?

When you are beginning to set your goals it helps when you are talking about them to others in a manner that states your actions as positives because it will have others seeing it as a positive as well.

That will garner you a great deal more support. In the end, don’t we all need a little support when we are trying to do something positive in our lives?

Be Precise

Set a precise goal that includes starting dates, times and amounts so that you can properly measure your achievement.

If you do this, you will know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.

Being precise in setting your goals is no more than setting them with exact details. It is easier this way because then you can follow a step-by-step format. That’s all there is to it.

Set Priorities

When you have several goals, give each a specific priority.

This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones and follow each in succession. Setting priorities will force you into the step-by-step format above.

By doing the most important first and moving to the least important in succession, you are enabling each task to be easier than the last. It causes the accomplishment of each task to get easier and easier which will encourage you to complete your goal.

Write Your Goals Down

This crystallizes your goals and gives them more force.

In writing your goals down, you are better able to keep up with your scheduled tasks for each accomplishment. It also helps you to remember each task that needs to be done and allows you to check them off as they are accomplished.

Basically, you can better keep track of what you are doing so as not to repeat yourself unnecessarily.

Keep Operational Goals Small

Keep the low-level goals you are working towards small and easy to achieve. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it.

Keeping goals small and incremental allows you more opportunities for reward. Derive today’s goals from larger ones. It is a great way to accomplish your goals.

Set Performance Goals, Not Outcome Goals

You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible. There is nothing more dispiriting than failing to achieve a personal goal for reasons that are beyond your control.

These could be bad business environments, poor judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck. If you base your goals on personal your performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals and get satisfaction from achieving them.

Set Realistic Goals

It is important to set goals that you can achieve.

All sorts of people (parents, media, and society) can set unrealistic goals for you which is almost a guarantee of failure. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions or flat out disinterest.

Alternatively you may be naïve in setting very high goals. You might not appreciate either the obstacles in the way, or understand quite how many skills you must master to achieve a particular level of performance.

By being realistic you are increasing your chances of success.

Do Not Set Goals Too Low

Just as it is important not to set goals unrealistically high; do not set them too low. People tend to do this where they are afraid of failure or where they simply don’t want to do anything.

You should set goals so that they are slightly out of your immediate grasp, but not so far that there is no hope of achieving them. No one will put serious effort into achieving a goal that they believe is unattainable.

However, remember that your belief that a goal is unrealistic may be incorrect. If this could be the case, you can to change this belief by using imagery effectively.

Achieving Your Goals

When you have achieved a goal, you have to take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress you have made towards other goals.

If the goal was a significant one, you should reward yourself appropriately. Think of it like this, why would you choose to ignore any accomplishments that you have made?

In doing that, you are downplaying your accomplishment which will convince you that it wasn’t that important in the first place.

With the experience of having achieved each goal, you should next review the rest of your goal plans and see them in the following manner:

  • If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goals harder
  • If the goal took a disheartening length of time to achieve, make the next goals a little easier
  • If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so
  • If while achieving the goal you noticed a certain lacking in your skills, decide which goals to set in order to fix this.

You should keep in mind that failure to meet goals does not matter as long as you learn from it. Feed lessons learned back into your goal-setting program.

You must also remember that your goals will change as you mature. Adjust them regularly to reflect this growth in your personality. If goals no longer hold any attraction for you let them go.

Goal setting is your servant, not your master. It should bring you real pleasure, satisfaction and a sense of achievement. If it stops, there is no longer a point. Let’s look at an example.

The best example of goal setting that you can have is to try setting your own goals. Set aside two hours to think through your lifetime goals in each of the categories. Then work back through the 25-year plan, 5-year plan, 1-year plan, 6-month plan, and a 1-month plan.

Finally draw up a To Do List of jobs to do tomorrow to move towards your goals. When you do, you will soon realize that you will be on your way to using your goals setting on a routine basis.

I hope the steps I’ve shared here will help you get started in building and living the life that will make you truly happy.

You can take out the time to read other great post on setting goals in our Personal Development Tool Box.

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